why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This baby is an asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize