Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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