The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
