Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
