But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
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Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
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I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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