Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
