well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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