The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Floor bacon is actually really good
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
