Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
