If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
