how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
