I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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