4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
wow bdsm is so cute
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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