Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
