Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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