shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize