Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize