Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You're like the curious george of whores
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
