Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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