Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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