Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
