sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
