I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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