i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
