so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
