you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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