i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
