Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
