i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
