I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
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i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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