just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
