Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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