She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
