It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
