her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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