hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Bring me that man meat
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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