she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
