Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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