Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
