Porn is love you can see.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
