Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
