yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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