At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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