yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
