Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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