Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize