You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
