Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
