Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
