No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Randomize
