stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize