You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize