I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator