I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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