we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Did I show you my penis last night?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.