watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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