Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.