Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  i jhust puked up my retainher.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): i jhust puked up my retainher. http://tfl.nu/zdlf
  Replies (3) Good night (807) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Your an asshole

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Actually, it's "you're an asshole"

  (954): View more from Florida

  My point exactly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): Your an asshole (1-954): Actually, it's "you're an asshole" (954): My point exactly http://tfl.nu/txzi
  Replies (47) Good night (3655) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win. http://tfl.nu/jyaa
  Replies (64) Good night (17513) Bad night (1786)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom http://tfl.nu/66s8
  Replies (32) Good night (1740) Bad night (4873)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date. http://tfl.nu/kedp
  Replies (15) Good night (3358) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks

  (1403): View more from

  That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks (1403): That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills http://tfl.nu/uobi
  Replies (2) Good night (1459) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it? http://tfl.nu/yhoj
  Replies (9) Good night (1934) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me.. http://tfl.nu/zeud
  Replies (1) Good night (1990) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around http://tfl.nu/jysb
  Replies (5) Good night (969) Bad night (1447)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment... http://tfl.nu/cuqz
  Replies (5) Good night (991) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment. http://tfl.nu/8gpy
  Replies (8) Good night (2283) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married. http://tfl.nu/ry1c
  Replies (2) Good night (359) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled. http://tfl.nu/0c1d
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (235): View more from

  if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?

  (366): View more from

  except your soul

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (235): if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right? (366): except your soul http://tfl.nu/vptx
  Replies (1) Good night (569) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech. http://tfl.nu/68ru
  Replies (1) Good night (590) Bad night (272)

Randomize