...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize