I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.