We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
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