im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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