Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
