Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
