last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
