can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
