Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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