This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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