Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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