Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
